Oh me, oh my, how does time fly?

Dear Reader,

Wow! Four whole years since I've updated this blog. Even though it's been so long since I left you, without a dope beat to step to...err...ummm...I haven't forgotten you! Simply put, I've
been on another journey...my beautiful Ethiopian, and Ethio-American-MoSotho-Proudly South African baby, and I moved to the United States. My Ethiopian, who was already a successful, practicing physician when I met him, wanted to advance his education. Thus, we moved to the US so that he could attend residency. Four years later, residency, lots of love, friends, family, an advancing career (for me), and a few trips sprinkled in for funzies has been a long ride, but well worth the fun!

Now to ponder about the meaning of life, the current state of political affairs, what I'll cook for dinner, planning my upcoming trip to Morocco with my Ethio/American boy, and what to do with this blog...

Well, some of these may require a bit more pondering, but I think I might have an idea about what to do with this blog. I just think I might leverage the "and beyond' part of the blog title and post about how I'm trying to raise a free-thinking, world-traveling, culturally competent, skate boarding, socially & emotionally intelligent, bad ass kid (and other musings)! Sound good with you? Mmkay!This sounds particularly salient given my current task of organizing our upcoming mama/boy trip to Morocco. First, I should probably give you a lil back story.

Yah see, my boy was born to travel (and run, but that's another story all together). First off, I'm his mom, so...enough said...but I'll tell you a bit more. He was born in a little place you may know of as South Africa (shout out Mzanzi), and was raised by an American mom and Ethiopian dad in the Kingdom of Lesotho. This guy had his passport by the ripe old age of 7 weeks, and was on his first international flight to Ethiopia at 7 weeks. This was followed by his second international flight to the US of A shortly thereafter. When we finally moved to the US, he had more frequent flyer points than many adults.

Side note: When we travel by plane, I always anticipate all of the passengers sitting within earshot of us giving me complements about how good of a traveler he is. They clearly hold their breath and anticipate an unnerving baby/toddler/young child screams. I quickly jump in when they ask if this was his first flight with a, "Nope, not this guy, he has a lot of stamps in his passport!"Ahh...such is life!

This brings me back to my task at hand...what to do with our trip to Morocco. You see, last year, my boy and I were on a trip to Chicago when I volunteered to get bumped on an oversold flight. Long story short, rather than the $200 they initially offered, we ended up getting a combined total of $1,800 worth of Delta credit...ummm yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah (said in my Lil'Jon voice).

I sat on the credit for a year, given that we already had plans to travel to Cuba at the time. Where oh where should we go? Oh, I know, the country I have been fantasizing about since I was in 3rd grade. You: "Third grade, you say?" Me: "Picture it: A little bit of #blackgirlmagic participating in her 3rd grade class during International Day. Her teacher invited her two friends- former RPCVs in Morocco- to speak about their experience. #Blackgirlmagic sat in awe as they showed pictures of the High Atlas Mountains, bright colors, geometric patterns, and dunes of the Sahara Dessert. You see, this #blackgirlmagic had only been as far as Oklahoma, at the time, but knew...just knew...that there was something more. That night, she recounted secondhand stories of travel and adventure to her parents vowing that one day, she would grow up to live her life out loud abroad, first in the Peace Corps, and after that, with her French husband, two boys (Jean-Michele & Jean-Jacques, respectively), and pet monkey on a remote farm in Congo. That young girl was me. The Frenchman was Monet..." (cue Sophia from the Golden Girls). So you see, the 3rd grade version of myself gifted me Delta credit from the past for me to have my own Moroccan experience...the place that captured my imagination so long ago!

Ever since the decision was made, I've been scouring the interwebs looking for magical experiences my boy and I can share (hubs is newly in his job so won't be coming), in addition to staring at my Delta app trip countdown. Everywhere I look, however, I read blogs from American or European moms who prefer to stay put in one city. The Lonely Planet Morocco Thorn Tree commentators gently admonish me for thinking that a 10 hour road trip with loads of stops is crazy talk. Even an overnight train ride from Marrakesh to Fez got me a virtual slap on the hand. Yikes! I promise you, I'm a responsible mom, but I think that if my guy can manage a 16 hour plane ride to South Africa in economy seating, he'll be ok with an air conditioned Sprinter van with amazing stops along the way.

We'll see...let me get back to pondering my trip and what's for dinner!

Alas, Dear Reader, if you have any tips for globe-trotting families or fun places to explore in Morocco, leave comments! I'll keep you posted on what we decide. It was great getting reacquainted with you, old friend!

Sincerely,

Dani

...Everything must change

Hello Dear Reader,

When I was a little girl, I didn't really understand or appreciate change. "Change is inevitable", they'd say. At times, I'd find myself saying, "But I don't want things to change. I like everything exactly the way it is, right at this very moment." As I grew...and changed...my perspective evolved. At times, change was exciting and brought about new and wonderful developments. Other times, change was scary, because it could be unpredictable at times. And still other times, the idea of change could be a mixed bag of emotions.

When I moved out into the world (and out of the US), I looked forward to all of the change life could and would surely bring. Back then, I'm not really sure I really appreciated all of the changes I'd go through from that point until today. In retrospect, I can fully admit that I had no idea what I was doing or what I was getting myself into. That's the fun of life, right? It can be a blind adventure!

With a lot of time to reflect (thanks, dad, for teaching me about this art form), and a whole lot more to do...it's an ongoing process, after all, right...my 2014 self could write a long letter to my 2006-self. I'll share a portion of that letter with you, keeping in mind that it is still being written.

Dear 2006-Dani,

     You're a pretty cool chick. Let's just state that upfront! You put a 3rd grade dream, lots of hope for the future, idealism mix-ed practicality, and a youthful zest for life in your bag and decided to step out of your comfort zone to explore the big wide world.

     I now know all of the twists, bends, ups, downs, flat land, hills and valleys, walks, short sprints, and marathons coming your way. Wait, wait, wait...don't get anxious. Trust me, from where I stand in 2014, you'll be happy beyond measure at who you will become. I'm not saying that the road here is without tears. There will be plenty of tales full of woe, but my girl, there will be so many fairy tale endings that lead to new beginnings.

     Right now, you think you know a whole lot about who you are. To an extent you do, but don't let that hinder you from learning about who you can be. You will have a sense of dogged determination that will make you, at times, feel resistant to change. That is one of the things I both admire about you and will let time and experience help you modify. You are an independent beauty with your own ideas. That part of you won't change. You will, however, learn that you will also be humbled  (to your knees at times) by the realization that you need other people (some are still here and others have long since departed from your current course) more than you know.

     You have so many great ideas. In general, you can spot a problem and opportunity to improve with a moment's notice. Because of your passion and independence, you will want to address the situation, correct the situation, and move on. It will be a long road for you, my dear, to come across the "African" proverb that says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Most times, you will find, you don't always have to be "right". That is not an insult to your confidence or know-how, but rather a boost, because you would have learned the art of diplomacy and collaboration (important on Main Street America and There-is-no-street World).

     You will realize that, sometimes, you have to enter the mighty depths of life in order to come out on top. You'll definitely experiences this, my dear. I'm sorry for that and wish I could guide you by the hand while you go through this journey with the empowerment of knowing the future. You will spend time feeling utterly broken and in a major state of disrepair. You'll cry enough rivers to fill a Lesotho donga. I can't be with you, my girl. You will have to go through this alone. (Spoiler Alert) It is sooooooooo worth the sorted adventure. And you'll have help, love and support from some really special people along the way.

    What you perceive as mountains now will be mere speed bumps in 2014. You will rediscover (over and over again, might I add) how proud you should be of yourself for all that you've done. Be humble, lovie, because there is still so much work to be done. You'll better appreciate that saying you learned long ago, "Let your past be a spring board, not a hammock", in your 2014-shoes.

    Unexpectedly, you will meet the love of your life. You'll be enveloped by love all because of this special union. You will be able to share love with other people because you feel and are so loved. This love...you don't even have a clue about it right now. Honey, I'm talking about a Biblical kind of Love...one that involves Faith and Hope. That love will be in the form of a sweet, precious baby. This love will help you re-evaluate what you thought your thoughts on love have been all along.

    Change. Yes, you will change on top of the change on top of the change you are experiencing now. This change will bring you full circle in some areas of your life. What is important and fundamental to you now, might not be the case in 2014. You will learn that "life is a journey, not a destination".

    So, as you're packing your bags for Peace Corps, and for life away from the place you call home, hold on tight to your sense of adventure and possibility. Keep some of that anxiety about the unknown tucked away in your sock for safe-keeping. Trust me, it can serve as a great source of motivation when you need it. You're about to take a fascinating journey that will help you redefine your understanding of everything, including what you call "home".

     We'll meet in a few years, but by then, I'll have the lead by a couple of years. I'll be there,  as always, ready to give you a big hug and pat on the back for a job well done.

Love,

     2014-Dani







 

Marriage is like Peace Corps Service

Hello Dear Reader,

Every time I seem to post on this blog, I'm apologizing or at least acknowledging that I've woefully neglect it...and you! So now that we've managed to put that out there, I figured that I can jump right into this post.

The last post I made was about my Ethiopian wedding extravaganza, which was pretty awesome, by the way! Almost a year of marriage has passed by and my hubby and I will soon be celebrating the joining of our lives, families, and cultures. We are still figuring out how to meld, adjust, adapt, set aside, and highlight the big and small nuances of our various cultural perspectives, but I must say that's the fun (and at times frustrating part) of cross-cultural relationships/marriages...and I assume, any type of marriage.

Sometimes, I laugh, thinking that dating and marriage are kinda like Peace Corps service.

I feel you giving me the "side eye" so let me explain.

Think of dating as a pre-service training (PST). For those of you who don't know, PST is the three months of learning about your role as a soon-to-be Peace Corps Volunteer in a community similar to the one you'll serve for two years. During this time, you are given various exercises to help you familiarize yourself with your new community. You're encouraged to learn your host community's language, map out community resources, get to know key community stakeholders, learn about and participate in cultural ceremonies, try out different foods, learn how to function with people who may seem different than you (at first), and emotionally adjust to life outside of your comfort zone with as few freak-outs as possible.

The wedding. Once you have successfully completed your 3 months of PST without totally flipping out about all of the new changes you've experienced in a new community, you and your fellow Trainees will officially be sworn in as Peace Corps Volunteers. Your ceremony will consist of a nice venue (we had ours at a fancy lodge) with comfy beds, bathrooms with hot water showers (not the pit latrine you've grown to know and love), an all you can eat buffet (which you will tear through like a kid at Christmas...and generally make a fool of yourself with a towering high plate full of food you'll never manage to finish), speeches made by revered guests, and repeating of the sacred vows of Peace Corps service.

Marriage. Many young, sexy singles dream about their wedding- what it will be like, what you will wear,  music you'll play, who is invited, and repeating of the vows. Similarly, the lowly Trainee may have been dreaming about being sworn in as a PCV for like...ever (just like I did)...or just before they mailed in their application. The wedding, however, isn't the marriage. Like in actual Peace Corps service, marriage (especially of the cross-cultural variety) is the opportunity to put all of those shiny new skills you learned during PST to good use. Let's review the one's I mentioned: 1) learning your host community's language. In a cross-cultural marriage, making a genuine effort to learn your spouse's language is critical. You may not be able to rattle off directions on how you like your steak cooked, but you can say the important things in a way that is meaningful to your mate. Ene ewedhalehu, yene fikir. 2) Map out community resources. This ongoing activity is one of the most important. It's all about getting to know your partner's strengthens, weaknesses, and opportunities, and figuring out what yours are too. What do the two of you respectively bring to the table and how will you, jointly, make your marriage a strong, supportive support system for each other? Like PST and service as well, learning about yourself and your partner is a never-ending process that will shift, grow and change over the course of time. Recognizing that, we as people, are not static by nature, will save you a lot of drama. The guy or gal you dated at 21 is not necessarily the same, exact person you married 5 years later. 3) Getting to know key community stakeholders. This one is all about getting to know and valuing the other people in your partner's life. Who are your partner's 'gatekeepers'? Who has and continues to influence him/her? How will these people have an impact on your partner and your relationship? How can you develop and strengthen your relationships with these valued individuals? 4) Learn and participate in cultural ceremonies. Learn about your partner's traditions. Respect them for how they have shaped your partner. Figure out, jointly, which ones you will uphold in your marriage just as they are. Furthermore, figure out what traditions you two will honor within your relationship. My mother always tells me of how, when my brother and I were born, that during the first few Christmases, we would visit relatives. Eventually, she and my father decided that Christmas would be a nuclear family activity, with our own traditions. My husband and I are still working out which traditions we want to hold on to (from both sides), which holidays we will and won't celebrate, and where they will be celebrated. For instance, Christmas in the US is celebrate on December 25th. It's the day I get together with my parents, and brother and sister-in-law, open a few presents, eat Christmas breakfast, and together, catch an afternoon movie at the cinema. In my husband's culture, however, Christmas isn't the big deal that it is in the US. Easter is their big holiday. Plus, Ethiopians celebrate Christmas in January. When I want to go to the US for Christmas, my husband is like...umm...I want to go to Ethiopia. Last year, we compromised: We both went to Ethiopia, and I traveled on to the US. Many people I met with in the US were a bit shocked that we celebrated our first Christmas apart. It didn't, however, matter to us. We celebrated in January when we both returned home. 5) Try out different foods. Yes, I've always known how important food is to one's cultural and personal identity. Heck, when I was adjusting to life in South Africa, I would get homesick every once in a while, not because I necessarily missed my family and friends, but because I missed the foods that I craved, that reminded me of home, that comforted me when I was sick or wanted to celebrate. Now that I've adjusted to not being able to go out to my local eatery to get my old reliable comfort foods, I've learned how to make them. I thought that I was homesick during those early days of life abroad. My husband and his Ethiopian self are another story. A day without injera is a day utterly wasted. Without the spicy taste of berbere seasoning every dish, just...what's the point of eating at all? Just as I had to learn, so many years ago, when living outside of the box, being open to new and different foods is important. By learning what your partner likes to eat, what brings him or her comfort, allows you to gain a new perspective and appreciation for the person you're sharing your life with. 6) Dating your partner is one thing. Sharing a life...forever...with another person is an entirely different story. Your spouse's language, customs, beliefs, foods, and everything else, might, at times seem so radical from what you know...at first. The more you live and love, those difference begin to shape who you are as well. Those differences soon become similarities. When my husband and I were dating, I'd quiz him about any and everything. I'd say the first thing that came to my mind. I did things that, to him, seemed so absurd. He used to (and still does) call me weregna...or 'talkative'...which is not always the best characteristic to have in his culture. For him, however, this made me more interesting. I wasn't afraid to say what was on my mind. I had an opinion. I stood up for myself. I was strong and empowered. All qualities he found very attractive (at times...lol). My husband, on the other hand, was (and still kinda is) reserved and conservative. He is measured in the way he speaks. He considers all of the components of a situation and then speaks. I found this both fascinating, attractive, and at times, annoying. Over two years later, I still am who I am when he found me. Same for him. The best thing, however, is that I'm a bit more thoughtful when I speak and act, and he starts to shake and shimmy when the song for the Wobble comes on the iPod playlist. 7) Emotionally adjust to life outside of your comfort zone with as few freak-outs as possible. Being married to someone from a different culture can be cause for more than one freak-out. We've definitely had our fair share during this first year. I've learned that the occasional freak-out is ok and expected in any marriage. The BEST part, however, is that, by figuring out steps 1-6, slowly, but surely, those freak-outs become less frequent. Similar to Peace Corps service, when you first get to your community, you're on a natural high! "YES! I'm a PCV! I'm super cool! I love everything about everything!" Then, you hit your first freak-out. Damn, what in hell was I thinking by signing up for this?! A year later, you learn to laugh at yourself and the reasons for all of those previous freak-outs. A year after that...you know the language. You can cook a mean doro wot and injera platter. You have those people in your community with whom you can draw strength and understanding. You used to hate doing that obligatory dance/hop/step move every time you enter your village chief's homestead. Now, you run a Saturday class at the local primary school teaching the 5 and unders how to do it with style. Best of all, you learn to manage your expectations, perspective, and frustrations...which is a true skill that few learn to master.

Hubby and I are still a work in progress! I'll make sure to follow up on this post in a bunch of years to let you know if my "Peace Corps is like marriage" analogy holds water. Until then, I'm going to work on refining my thoughts and putting them into practice...day by day.

I look forward to chatting with you again, my friends!

Until next time...

Long time...no see

Hello Dear Reader,

It's certainly been a long time since I've updated this little blog o'mine. Sorry about that, but I've had a whole lot going on. To answer your question: Yes, I'm still in Lesotho. At present I've got a whole lot of (interesting) work on my plate that is pretty consuming. But enough about work. What's really interesting (to me at least) is that "I's married now" (said in a Ms. Sofia voice...a la "Color Purple")! In July, I got married to my very lovely Ethiopian fellow.

With many months of planning and an excruciatingly high telephone bill, my guy and I managed to bring many of our family members and close friends together to serve as witness to the sealing of our international love affair. With guests coming in from Ethiopia, South Sudan, Lesotho, South Africa, Kenya, and the US of A, a magical, cross-cultural atmosphere was created over the course of the week-long wedding extravaganza (well, two weeks if you consider the pre-wedding week activities including trips to places like Lalibela, Gondar, and Axum).

When I was in the planning stages of the wedding, and even shortly after the blissful day, I said that I would write a blog post listing all of the vendors I used (it was a pain to identify vendors online because many business aren't on the world wide web...yet). Further, I was going to provide a detailed explanation of every cultural activity in which we participated. Now, 5 months later, I'm so weddinged out that I.just.can't.no.energy. Surely, at some point, I'll be able to do it, but right now, I just want to keep the magic close to my heart and savor the honeymoon. I know, my attitude probably sucks for you, Dear Reader, because you came to this blog to learn about all of the exciting aspects of life abroad pre-, during, and post-Peace Corps. Fret not, I'll make it up to you eventually. Promise! For now, enjoy the pictures!

Dowry Ceremony: Groomsmen & Groom's family presenting my family and friends with gifts.

Groom and his party being blocked at the door to "my house" on the day of the wedding. His party must "fight" to get in to collect me.

Traditional Western Wedding

Traditional Ceremony: A day after the Western wedding, a traditional ceremony (Yedabo) was held at the groom's family home. He officially introduced me to his family and community. His family played a "game" to determine my new name.

Top 10 Questions About Peace Corps Answered

Hello Dear Reader,

One of my favorite things to do while on my little Peace Corps blog, is to look at who visits my blog. My dad (one of my most loyal readers) and I are always amazed by the fact that people are still interested in my experience, years after I completed my service. Additionally, we both find it interesting to look at how my blog's readership spans the globe. Of particular interest to me is that many people search for similar topics, and somehow, over the past (nearly) 6 years, my blog has managed to be a reference point to address some of the burning questions folks have regarding life in the Peace Corps.

To help put your mind and Google at ease, I'll attempt to pull all of the questions and answers into one blog post. So, here you go...Top 10 Questions About Peace Corps Answered (Please note that these answers are from my understanding and experiences alone)...and in no particular order.

Q1: Can I choose where I want to serve?

A1: When I was in the Peace Corps application process, the answer was a big, resounding "NO". Applicants were placed in countries based on their experiences and the needs of the particular Peace Corps country program. If you were fluent in French and worked for 10 years in the field of HIV/AIDS, it might be unlikely that you'd be placed in Chile working on an agro-forestry project. From my understanding, now, times are a'changin'. Peace Corps seems to be a bit more flexible in terms of allowing applicants to have more of a say in where they go. Lucky you...! But I enjoyed being surprised! For me, as long as I knew I was accepted and was going somewhere, I was happy!


Q2: Can I bring my dog with me to Peace Corps?

A2: During my application process, I had an amazing dog who was consecutively awarded the "International Best Buddies" Award (I was on sole member of the selection committee, of course). He was a great guy. He was smart. He was handsome. He was a great friend. If I were allowed to bring that awesome guy with me, trust me, I would have. Unfortunately for us, Peace Corps didn't and still does not allow you to bring your pet dog/cat/bird/lizard/fish/potted plant with you. Make sure to ask your buddy's temporary, US-based caretaker to send plenty of updates.


Q3: Can I serve with my boyfriend/girlfriend? We are Facebook Official after all!

A3: Unless Peace Corps and Beyonce inspire you and your boo to "put a ring on it", unfortunately, the answer is no. Peace Corps only allows married couples to serve together. True, indeed, distance can either make the heart grow fonder or it can lead you on separate paths. I've had friends who came with someone waiting at home and were married upon completion of service. I've also had friends who had someone waiting at home, found a cutie pie during service, and got married after service. I've also had friends who came as a singleton and left as a singleton. Love and life are a gamble in DC, NYC, and JNB...go figure!

Q4: What is the translation for "Wathint'abafazi, Wathint'imbokodo"?

A4: Now you have touched a woman, you have struck a rock. A very powerful saying addressing women's rights. For more information, check out this link.

Q5: Can I bring my computer/electronic equipment with me?

A5: Can I tell you a little story? For Christmas, my Ethiopian must have been a very good boy (or my parents advocated strongly on his behalf for talking their daughter off their hands), because Santa Claus gave him a brand-stinkin'-new iPad. What a day! What a day! My Ethiopian was like a kid in a candy store- downloading apps, taking advantage of high-speed internet to watch every BBC video news clip, Facebooking like there was no tomorrow and then some! The moment my dear Ethiopian crossed over US borders and into Addis Ababa and away from high-speed, unlimited internet access, his prized possession was little more than a fancy, electronic picture album and iPod. In Peace Corps, a picture album and iPod are gifts sent by the Gods, please don't get me wrong. I'm just sayin'.... I'll let you read into that story and do with it what you will.


Q6: How do I tell my parents that I want to join the Peace Corps?

A6: I'll tell you how I did it. The same day I learned about Peace Corps, in the 3rd grade, I went home and told my parents all about it with the zest and zeal that only a 3rd grader could have! From 3rd grade until one year post grad school, I slooooooooooooowly but surely approached the subject, so by the time I was ready to pack my bags for South Africa, they thought me joining the Peace Corps was their idea. Clearly, I took the long, round'about way of convincing my parents. This strategy might not work for you, but the good thing is that you know your family and friends MUCH better than I do, so I'm sure that you'll come up with something that works very well!


Q7: Do you feel "safe" in Peace Corps?

A7: During your pre-service training (PST)- the first 2-3 months of your PC service- Peace Corps staff do their best to educate trainees on how to keep themselves safe within the context of their country/community. Some recommendations are to make strong relationships within your community; learn the local language, listen to the advice of people within your community (they know what/where is safe and what/where is not safe); be observant (if women do not wear shorts and short skirts, it's probably not a good idea that you do); reduce your alcohol consumption (or just don't drink if you don't have to. Remember, you're not in your local neighborhood bar. You're in a different country, with different rules and safety concerns.); if someone tries to take your phone, don't argue with them or try to fight them (your phone is replaceable. you are not.); and so on.  For the most part, you have the ability to keep yourself safe. Similarly, you have the choice to make unwise decision to compromise your safety. Be smart. If you ever have any concerns, your PC country team will be able to assist you.


Q8: Can you go home during Peace Corps service/Can friends and family visit you during Peace Corps Service?

A8: Yes. I do know several people who went home for a visit during Peace Corps, including myself. For me, going home was the refresher that I needed to make it through my second year. Additionally, my mom came to visit me during my service. We had a blast! Do I regret going home? Nope, I don't. It was what I needed at the time.

Does Peace Corps encourage you to go home during service? I should think not. Just think about it, there are so many new and interesting things in your host country that you've yet to explore.

Does Peace Corps encourage you to share your experiences with friends and family, while still "in the field"? Yes, yes, yes! Sharing your Peace Corps experience with friends and family is all part of the Third Goal (sharing your experience with Americans to bring a better understanding).  Many PCVs and RPCVs only get to share their service with the folks back home through letters, pictures, and presentations. To actually see/feel/touch/taste the things you rave/complain about is 1000% better! I wish more people could have visited me during service, but the cool thing about continuing to live abroad is that I can still invite folks experience the amazing things about life in Southern Africa! Soon, many of my friends and family will have the chance to visit my new home-away-from-home: Ethiopia. Better still, my Ethiopian fiance recently relocated to Lesotho. Instead of just visiting me during his vacations, he's having his own first hand experiences in an new environment! Fun, fun, fun!



Q9: What does "Ke go gopotse" mean?

A9: "Ke go gopotse" means "I miss you" in Setswana/Sesotho. Over my almost 6 years of living in Southern Africa, I've grown to truly understand the meaning of those words on multiple levels.

I miss you: Lou Malnotti's pizza, Wendy's #1 with cheese, 3G internet, customer service, conveniences, current tv shows.

I miss you: Gerald, Chris, Jestein, Mom, Dad, Karl, Christina, Grandparents, family members, friends. Regular time spent with family and friends. Being able to give hugs, a kiss, hold your hand, pat your back when you've done a great job or when you need a shoulder to lean on. Skype certainly has revolutionized the way I'm able to keep up with the people I love most, but it is no replacement for being there in person.

I miss you: Dear friends and friends who were more like family, I miss you and I can't believe you're gone. In my line of work (HIV/AIDS programming), I've been able to meet some of the most amazing people. I've also experienced the loss of some of those great people because of a cruel, incredibly frustrating disease!



Q10: Are there alternatives to Peace Corps?

A10: Peace Corps is not for everyone. I'll be the first person to admit that. Not everyone has the time nor desire to uproot their lives for two years to volunteer in another country that does not offer the conveniences that they're used to. Peace Corps service is often called "The toughest job you'll ever love." I agree. It's frustrating at times. It's inspiring at times. It'll drive you crazy at times. You'll be driven to new heights at times.

Recently, Peace Corps opened up the Peace Corps Response program to people who may not have completed two years of service. If you don't have two years to give, but have experiences that will be helpful on a more short-term assignment, you may want to check it out here.

But the real answer is...there is no real alternative to Peace Corps...a very unique program like no other.

Tips for People Moving to Lesotho

Hello Dear Reader,

Soon after closing out my Peace Corps service, I landed my current job which has me based in Maseru, Lesotho. I began the feverish search for any and everything about life in Maseru and Lesotho in general. Although Lesotho was the last place I visited prior to being put on "travel lockdown" (the last 3 months of PC service, you're required to stay at your site until you leave), I could safely say that I knew and remembered little to nothing about the "Mountain Kingdom", other than Malealea Lodge offers awesome views of some of Lesotho's lowland mountains, and all on the back of 'surefooted" trail horses. I also remember driving down Kingsway Road, through the center of town with two of my fellow PCV friends and thinking..."So where is it? Where's the town?" Of course, coming from the BIG CITY of Rustenburg, South Africa, Maseru looked like a one-horse town! Nearly four years later, my understanding and appreciation for Maseru and Lesotho as a whole have grown tremendously.

I'm excited to say that, within the next week or two, my beautiful Ethiopian will soon be relocating to Lesotho. With that exciting event just around the corner, I've given thought to how I can best orient him and other people looking to relocate. Hmm...what were the things I wanted to know about living as an expat in this beautiful country?

In my tiny attempt to giving my Ethiopian and you a "heads up", here is the unofficial guide to all things 'Lesotho expat':

Entertainment (The most important information to know when going to any new city, right?)

Times Cafe: Located in the center of town, on Kingsway Rd, Times Cafe (formally Good Times Cafe) is THE consistent late-night 'upscale' bar/club in town. A nice selection of DJ's rotate every night and play everything from hiphop to house music. The food selection is fair...think average bar food. In my opinion, the best night to go is "Phuza Thursdays"! Thursdays, as we know, is the day before the official start of the weekend. Phuza Thursdays helps you get the party started. If you're into football, Good Times has large screens located throughout, broadcasting all of the big matches. You're sure to find a crowd when you get there!

Lithaleng aka "The Pit": Located in the industrial area of town of Moshoeshoe Rd (pronounced Mo-shh-way-shh-way...an important word to know, by the way), "The Pit" is the King's former horse stables turned favorite hangout spot of many of the people I know. Going to "The Pit", you'll find all of the young crowd who wants to chill, have a few drinks, and listen to good music. In my opinion, the Pit is best during summertime, as most of the seating space is outside. Come wintertime, go to Good Times or stay at home and try not to freeze your nose off!

Pioneer Mall aka "The new mall": I really don't remember what life was like in Maseru prior to opening of "The new mall". Prior to 'the new mall', we all went to Shoprite for our groceries, which is also where you ran into EVERYONE. It was the central meeting point. The 'new mall" has Ster-Kinekor movie theatre, Pick 'n Pay grocery store (nicer than the Shoprite...you can find blueberries, and fancy cooking oils), Ocean Basket (think Red Lobster), Spur (think Steak n' Ale), Steers (think McDonalds-esk), KFC (yep, Kentucky Fried Chicken), Debonaire (a take away pizza joint), LCS (where you can pay for your DSTV (i.e. cable tv). think a very small time Kmart), an electronics store, a dry cleaners (although the best dry cleaning service is Emmanuel's, next to the Shoprite), and Renaissance Cafe (slow service, but nice people and decent food). There are a few clothing stores and random little shops as well (you'll see when you get here).

Malealea Lodge: Mountain lodge. Pony trekking. Bushman paintings. Hiking. Short drive from Maseru.

Semonkong Lodge: Mountain lodge. Pony trekking. Longest single commercial abseil drop in Africa. BEAUTIFUL

Afriski: Thought you couldn't ski in Africa? Think again!

...to keep it short, if you like to do outdoors stuff, Lesotho is the place to be! You want fishing? We've got it! You want to support a national football team? Yep, we've got that too! You want to boat, hike, learn about Lesotho history, want a running club, need a world class gym with Spinning/Swimming/Private trainers/Squash courts/basketball courts/tennis courts/jazzercise, mountain biking club, mountain dirt bike competition known throughout Africa? We've got it all!

Restaurants

Pizza/Italian: Mimmo's, Debonairs Pizza, and Scooters Pizza. Mimmo's is a nice meet-up spot for lunch and after work drinks. The service is pretty slow, but the staff is very friendly. Plus, the balcony is a great spot for hanging out with friends (in the summer time). Debonairs has a stand-alone location and one at "The new mall". Scooters Pizza is located in the" Industrial Area", and the great thing about this little pizza joint is that they deliver for a nominal fee to locations in the Maseru central business district area. An added plus is that, if you have friends/family members who want Nando's, Scooters will deliver that too. The trick to getting Scooters to deliver Nando's (since they're owned by the same family) is that you first place your order at Nando's and you'll get an order number. While placing your order for Scooters, give them your Nando's number and you'll get your food in a jiffy! Last, but not least, if you're up for a nice drive out to a town called Taya-Tayaneng (TY for short), you can always go to the Blue Mountain Inn for (in my opinion) the best pizza in Lesotho. My friends give me a hard time about this, but all of the Peace Corps Volunteers in country will likely agree! Also, TY is the "crafts capital" of Lesotho. You can choose from a selection of handmade weavings or design your own with any one of the local weaver collectives.

Chinese Food: Yup, Lesotho has a sizable Chinese community, along with an equally impressive selection of Chinese food. Peace Restaurant is the expat favorite. Any day of the week, you can organize a private room with karaoke. Behind the Victoria Hotel, you'll find a hidden little restaurant with decent selections. Within the past year, another restaurant has opened up next to Lancer's Inn Hotel. The buffet provides a reasonable and quick lunchtime option. Ying Tao is located in the Lesotho Sun Hotel. This is my favorite Chinese spot because of the teppanyaki tables...think Benihana. The "angry duck" option and selection of Thai soups are really good. This is an "upscale" restaurant, so be prepared to bring your Maluti!

Seafood: Ocean Basket- they also have freshly made sushi.

Steak: If you want a takeaway plate of pap, spinach, and steak off the grill, there are gazillions of ladies selling takeaway plates out of the boot of her car on just about any corner. Don't turn your nose up at this option because you just might land on an hidden gem! For the more conservative palate, you can also go to the "new mall" for Spur. Watch out for Wednesday nights..."Mexican night". Sit back and watch the wait staff dance around the restaurants in their sombreros and ponchos. Interesting.

Grocery Stores: Pick n'Pay is in the "new mall" and has more fancy options than the Shoprite. By fancy, I mean a wide selection of fruits such as blueberries (my personal favorite), pineapples, gooseberries, and blackberries. Around Thanksgiving, the US Embassy usually sources turkey (a rare treat). Pick n'Pay, at least this year, had extra stock and you know your girl has one big frozen bird in her freezer, just waiting for the right night for a dinner party! Shoprite, while not as fancy is the tried and true grocery store. Unlike the Pick n'Pay, you're always able to find a nice selection of boneless skinless chicken. Pick n'Pay, on the other hand, has nice lean mince meat (aka ground beef).

Weekend Brunch: The one, the only Living Life Cafe, located in Ladybrand, South Africa. If you want to step into Martha Stewart's own personal backyard patio for a shabby chic brunch and run into just about every expat there is in a 30 km radius, this is the place you must go. Berry juice...YUM! Homemade pies, tarts and other tasty treats...Oh...Wow! Many items on the menu are grown right there on the Living Life Cafe property. The wait staff treats you like family, the kids can play on the little shabby chic playground, and you can even bring your little dog along to enjoy the good food and sun! Living Life is open every day except Sunday and Monday. The kitchen closes by 3pm. On top of all of the delicious food, you can also purchase homemade, shabby chic plush toys, clothes, and bath salts/jewelry/stuff. Trust me, crossing over the boarder into South Africa for Living Life is well worth dedicating passport pages. My body thanks me for Living Life. Your body will thank you too.

Coffee: Right on the corner of Pioneer and Kingsway, in the center of town, you'll find this cute little outdoor cafe. Great for light sandwiches, coffee, and mixed company. The cafe is run by a family of Eritreans. After 5pm, you'll see the nightly migration of Eritrean and Ethiopian men to Ouh La La Cafe for their regular coffee meet-ups. My Ethiopian participated in this nightly ritual during his trip to Lesotho last April.

Sundowners: This hotel is located at the top of a hill with a patio overlooking Maseru town and part of South Africa. For sun downers, this is THE one and only place to go! On Thursday nights, stick around for live jazz.

Fried Chicken: Yep, we have KFC. Eww. Hungry Lion. Eww. Not to brag or anything, but I am from the South and know how to whip up a Southern meal if you know what's good for you.

Burgers: Steers...meh. If you want a "taste of home", you can always drive to Bloemfontein, South Africa for the weekend (or just a day trip) for McDonald's. Personally, I'm a die hard Wendy's girl. McDonalds Happy Meals have, however, gotten me over the case of the "I want to go home" blues during my time in Peace Corps. Also, if you were born prior to 1985, you'll remember that, before McDonald's went on a "semi-health kick", they had (gasp now) fried apple pies. My favorite!!! Luckily, South Africa still appreciates the original fried apple pies, and McDonald's has happily obliged. Side note: My parents are friends with the CEO of McDonald's and his wife. I asked my mother to convey a special "Thank you" for having the sense not to take this off the menu everywhere. Yes, I did just say that. Yes, I am a Public Health Professional. Yes, I do eat according to the new food pyramid. Yes, I run regularly (although admittedly in a slump at the moment) and participate in races all over Southern Africa . Yes, I do love a McDonald's fried apple pie every once in a while. Sue me.

Other options: Take a day trip (or weekend trip) to Bloemfontein, South Africa and see how your South African neighbors live...with more activities and food options. The new Cinnabon is the wave of the future. Since I gain weight just thinking about a fresh, hot Cinnabon, I don't usually go this route, but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Accommodation

Hotels/B&Bs: You have plenty o' options for hotels and B&Bs: Lancer's Inn Hotel (the expat favorite because it's right in the center of town within walking distance to everything), Maseru and Lesotho Sun Hotels (the Lesotho Sun is the more pricey option), Foothills B&B, and so many more. Take your pick!

Housing: It's a pain. Every expat and development organization wants to be in the central business district. As such, suitable housing is in short supply and high demand. With that combination, what do you get? High rent! The best way to find housing is by word of mouth, hiring a broker, and postings in the expat-run Frontier News, formally the Lesotho News (If you want to start looking for things prior to arriving, send an email to lesothonews@gmail.com). Neighborhoods to consider: Maseru West, Lower Thetsane, White City, Race Course Area, Friebel, Hillsview, Leseli Flats, and the Arrival Centre. The average cost of rent is about M6000/$750 per month. Good luck!

The more practical, adult stuff you need to know

Cable/Utilities: WASA to set up your water account. LEC to set up your electricity account. DSTV to set up your tv account. Econnet for your home telephone and WiFi internet at home. Vocacom for your cellphone and wireless internet modem (pay as you go or account). Once you get these things set up, you'll get a little key to refill your pay-as-you-go water meter, which you'll be able to take to the Engen Garage (petrol/gas station in town)/Shoperite/WASA HQ/Pick n'Pay for a refill. Same thing for the electricity, although your house will have a meter number that you can store in your cellphone and stop by the Engen Garage anytime you like to refill (thank heavens for the 24 hour garage!!!!).

Money: Withdraw large-ish amounts of cash from the ATM instead of having to get those darn bank charges. Most ATMS in-country will spit out cash in the local currency (Maluti). Maluti can be used in Ladybrand, South Africa, but that's it. Don't try to take it along on your weekend trip to Jozi. They'll look at you like you're crazy. The Standard Bank ATM in "the new mall" and at the border will allow you to withdraw South African Rands, which, ironically, can be used in Lesotho. FYI, having a local bank account to keep small amounts of money may be useful.

Safety: Despite what you may have heard about Lesotho's Mother Ship (aka South Africa), Lesotho is a jewel when it comes to the hospitality of the people, and safety. Of course, every city should be approached with your regular amount of caution, and Lesotho is, by no means and angel, but you can feel safe walking in groups at night without worry if your purse will get snatched. The majority of people are super friendly, warm and welcoming. If you have a question, stop someone and ask. In Lesotho, you get the best of both worlds: the peacefulness of a small town with lots of outdoor activities and access to the beautiful beast that is South Africa. (I'm proudly South African, if you didn't know!).

Dry Cleaning: Emmanuel's (across from Lancer's Inn Hotel) is THHHHHHHHE best place to get your clothes dry cleaned. I love walking into this shop, where staff working in the back come to the front to greet me. They are super fast, friendly, and when your clothes are done, you get an SMS. Beat that, dry cleaner on the bottom floor of "the new mall"!

Spa Services: Uhhh, yes, this is a practical, adult activity. Make reservations at the Lesotho Sun or Cranberry Cottage in Ladybrand. A facial, massage, pedi and mani go nicely with brunch at Living Life Cafe.

Veterinary Care: There is a Vet in Ladybrand that many expats use. They are SUPER affordable (way more affordable, and just as good as any Vet care you'll receive in the States). Also, there's an equally good (although not as fancy) Vet in Maseru across from Lehakoe Gym. For a while, I trekked across the border to Ladybrand with my big, stinky, snorting dog so that he could get his routine check-ups. One day, after giving said stinky, fat-fat dog a presumptive diagnosis of tick bite fever, I rushed him over to the local Vet. Badda bing! Badda boom! Big dog was cured. Moving forward, my big boy is Lesotho born (actually South Africa), bred, and bandaged locally!

Well Ethiopian man and newcomers alike, that's all I've got for you at the moment. If you have any requests for information, let me know! Welcome to Lesotho!

Until next time,

Dani

12 Reasons to Date a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer

It’s Valentine’s Day! A day when we celebrate friendship, love, and romance. Through the years here at the National Peace Corps Association, we’ve heard countless stories of Peace Corps romance. The couples that met at the airport on the way to training. The couples that met while serving. The Peace Corps Volunteers that fell in love with a host country national. And the Returned Peace Corps Volunteers that connected back here in the States, discovering that the shared bond of Peace Corps service was the spark that led to a relationship.

Peace Corps is a life-changing experience that develops a unique set of skills and attributes. So it goes without saying: Returned Peace Corps Volunteers make GREAT dates. And just to prove it, we’ve started a list. 12 reasons to date a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer:

Source

1. We can woo you in multiple languages. Who else is going to whisper sweet nothings to you in everything from Albanian to Hausa to Quechua to Xhosa? That’s right. Only a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.
2. We’re pretty good dancers. Yeah, we don’t like to brag, but after 27 months in Latin America or Africa we know how to move it. 
3. We’ll eat anything. Seriously. No matter how bad your cooking, Returned Peace Corps Volunteers have had worse and will eat it with nary a blink. Sheep’s eyeball? Water buffalo gall bladder? Grasshoppers? Bush rat? Bring it. 
4. We know all about safe sex, thanks to our very thorough Peace Corps health training. In fact, there’s a chance that we’ve stood unblushingly in front of hundreds of villagers and demonstrated good condom technique with a large wooden phallus. 
5. We’ll kill spiders for you. Well, actually, we’ll nonchalantly scoop them up and put them out of sight. Same goes for mice, geckos, frogs, snakes. Critters don’t faze Returned Volunteers. 
6. We have great date ideas: wandering a street market, checking out a foreign film, taking in a world music concert, volunteering…. Romantic getaway? Our passport is updated and our suitcase is packed. With us, life is always an adventure. 
7. We like you for “you”… not your paycheck. Especially if we are freshly back from service, a local joint with “character” will win out over a pretentious eatery. Living in a group house? Does it have running hot water? What luxury! 
8. You won’t get lost when you’re with a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. Navigating local markets on four continents, we’ve honed an uncanny sense of direction. Or else we’ll ask for directions. We’re not afraid to talk to “strangers.” 
9. Waiting for a late train or bus? Don’t worry, we’ve been there, done that. We can share lots of funny stories about “the bus ride from hell” that will make the time go quickly and put it all into perspective. 
10. Our low-maintenance fashion style. Returned Peace Corps Volunteer guys are secure in their manhood and don’t mind rocking a sarong. Women often prefer flip flops to high heels. We don’t spend hours in front of a mirror getting ready to go out. 
11. Marry us, and you won’t just get one family — you’ll get two! When we refer to our “brother” or “mom,” you’ll want to be certain we’re talking about our American one or our Peace Corps one. You might even get two wedding ceremonies, one in the U.S. and one back in our Peace Corps country. 
12. And last but not least, we aren’t afraid to get dirty.